MOVEMENT.

I don’t know that I have ever moved for the sake of enjoying the movement in my body. I mean, I’ve done yoga because my muscles were tight. I’ve danced because I LOVE to dance. (In my other life, I am a hip hop dancer.) But exercise has been singly for the purpose of changing my body. I mean, sure I had health in mind some days, but really at it’s core, I was usually trying to change.

I’ve shared before that the medicine I started for anxiety and depression caused me to gain around 30lbs. I felt like a failure. I felt unattractive. I felt like a fraud. Thing is, I could not bring myself to start my weight loss journey over again. Mentally, it felt like such a mountain. I couldn’t commit to a workout program. I tried over and over. I got sick and fell off before I could create a habit again. I got injured. I let the stress of life derail me. I slowly took a step back from Beachbody coaching not really knowing how to coach others when I couldn’t even coach myself.

I was tired of striving. I knew I needed some grace in my life. Honestly, discovering I was not a failing Enneagram type 3 was a big thing for me. When I found out I was actually a 7, things made sense. And I was no longer beating myself for not being a good achiever. I was actually doing great and releasing the need to achieve and finding what my strengths actually were, helped me settle in.

I started a new workout program. Not a Beachbody program actually. It met me where I was emotionally and THAT is what I needed. It’s a flowing workout that just focuses on movement and I have found myself enjoying it. I get it done not because I have to or because I’ll lose the weight (AGAIN), but because it feels respectful to my body. As I focus on respecting my body, the nutrition just kind of falls in line. And there’s grace for the holiday treats I attempt to bake with my kids. I say attempt because as it turns out, no matter how much Great British Baking Show I watch, my attempts are more reminiscent of Nailed It.

So where does that leave me? I’m no longer a before and after picture. Well, I am over the course of my life but not recently. I’m focusing on peace and grace and a flow in life. So how do I help others? I still want to help others.

It leaves me being honest. It actually releases me from caring about my Beachbody as a business. It was an amazing season of pushing and learning about growing a business BUT…I just want to help others. I want that to be a part of my life. I want to encourage others. I want to share my journey and my heart. I might not ever earn another trip or award or whatever but…I’m okay with that. Not caring releases me to just help me guide people to the products and tools I think would meet them exactly where they are. Not everyone is ready for a total solution. So maybe just a workout and help with energy? Or maybe JUST adding some superfoods to your diet? Or maybe just a healthier bar for the road or swapping out the gatorade/pedialite in your family? I just want to share what works for me and be someone else’s cheerleader. So if you see me backing off, it’s not because I quit, or because my cabinets aren’t PACKED with Beachbody products, or because I’m done helping people…it’s because i’m in a new season of flow and that’s okay.